Omnime

This morning I weighed in at 145.  I don’t know what it is about my body that makes it so opposed to dropping one pound unless I suffer 3 or 4 days for it.  So 145.  That sucks.  And today I packed my lunch: 160 calories of Carb fit yoghurt, 1 fuji apple = 70 cals.  I had 80 cal or soymilk with coffee and then, because I was beside myself with hunger, I had 2 blueberry muffins which = 320 calories.  So after I eat the huge salad I’ve prepared for myself and the 1 cup of eggwhites for dinner - I should land at 856 calories.  I think I’ll put Braggs amino acids on the salad with a spoonfull or so of plain yoghurt.  Then I’ll land at around 956.  So this way I’m still under 1000.  I’m fully convinced that I need to eat less than 1000 calories to lose any weight.  God knows when I eat 1300, 1200 or even 1100 the best I do in break even.  In hindsight I shouldn’t have eaten the muffins.  Maybe it’s this cold that causes me to be so ravenous.  I doubt it though - I’m ravenous all the time.  God I hate my body.  I feel like it operates in every way to spite me.  It feel sometimes like it knows I’m trying desperately to lose weight so it digs it’s heels in so I won’t lose a pound.  Again - I think that I have to be indescribably miserable and very hungry to lose any weight.  I know that in the past when I’ve dropped weight I’ve lost because I felt very hungry all the time.  I can feel myself getting thinner.  God I’m so frustrated.  I’ll give the final crunch when I get home.