Omnime

Deborah wrote to me a few days ago saying my fats were low.  And she was right.  And as I might have already said haven’t been avoiding fats.  I just haven’t been eating enough.  Well yesterday I unearthed a package of raw sunflower seeds (hulled) from the fridge and threw .25 cup into my yogurt (186cal).  I couldn’t believe how great it tasted…. the deliciousness of the yogurt combined with the crunchiness of the seeds.  Anyhow, as you can imagine, I wasn’t hungry until late in the afternoon thanks to the good fats in those seeds.  So I’ve officially re-acquainted myself with seeds and nuts.  I have to admit that I’ve been a little scared of any food that can pack 187 calories in a 1/4 cup.  But - it’s good ON.  I was on the high side yesterday thanks to some rice dream carrot cake ice cream I couldn’t seem to live without.  I only had a couple of spoonfuls and WHAM!  There I am at 1300 + calories for the day.  Oh well.  Also, I’ve stepped back from the 850 calorie rule.  In fact I’ve been eating in the 1100 calorie range for a few days.  Weighing myself is out of the question right now.  I feel like I’ll melt into a puddle with disappointment from the inevitable weight gain.  Really - for some reason my weight will not budge if I eat over 1000 calories a day.  Exercise does nothing for loss.  And I walk about 3 miles a day brisklyjust because the dogs need the romp.  Still this has no effect whatsoever on my weight.  

Last night I saw Pan’s Labyrinth which was every bit as fantastic as I heard it would be.  And then I watched a documentary about Margot Fonteyn which was very long and sad in that I had no idea she was so shat upon during her lifetime.  Poor Margot.  Fascinating how the most creative and talented people seem to be cursed with a disastrous private life.

Here’s yesterday’s crunch….

Nutrition Summary for June 23, 2007

What a fantastic couple of days I’ve had off with Scott!  I’ve been a little high in the calories department but today I’m back on track.  One of the many things I’m happy about at this moment is a gigantic bag of strawberries that my mother gave me over the weekend.  That, and I found a shop nearby that sells arugula and dandelion greens among other yummies I’ve been searching for.  We just got back from the zoo which was much better than I thought it would be.  We were going to go on a long day hike but the weather is a little scetchy today.  Too many storms in the area.   We’d get stuck 7 miles away from the car in a downpour. 

Oh and look - I had a dr’s appointment yesterday and found out my BP is 106/66!  Wow! Also - I’m a little better in the fat department today. I don’t avoid fats on purpose, but it does seem I’m chroniclly low. I’ll post the crunch later.

 Anyhow, I’m off again to run a few errands and to go through some favorite junk shops in the area.   Stay cool….

Well yesterday was substantially better food wise and this morning I weighed 142.  Who knows.  I can only assume my period will arrive soon. 

Last night when Scott and I were walking to the Tomato Head for supper we saw a friend of ours sitting at the patio of a bar drinking with a friend.  As we got closer to him and waved hello he said hello to Scott and to me he said:

ARE YOU WITH CHILD?

Am I with child!?!???  Um NO.  I am NOT with child.  And he asked if I was “with child” not just pregnant. But I answered him politely and just said no.  Here’s what I wanted to say:

NO I’M NOT WITH CHILD, I’M JUST A FAT ASS!

But alas I did not say this.  I refrained and instead watched as he squirmed in embarrassment.  Little did he know how much I was squirming with all consuming humiliation and self loathing.  He apologized and back peddled saying, “That style of dress, the high waist, you know…”

Yeah - I know.

When we got to the restaurant I was reduced to tears and took off for the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a scene at the table.   Even when I recovered slightly I felt like I was going to start sobbing any minute the whole time we were there.  Anyhow - I had a spinach salad.  Just a small bowl of spinach with a few shredded carrots.  No dressing except a taste on my fork.  Needless to say at that point I didn’t have a trace of an appetite.  Good I guess. 

Today we’re taking my mom out for her birthday.  Fortunately for me she chose Olive Garden - something I can research on-line.  Looks like I’m having one bowl of Minestrone for 160 calories and a forkfull of birthday cake.  The rest of the day I’ve had my usual yoghurts and apple, strawberry and a few pumpkin seeds but a little less of everything to save room.  I have to admit that I’m pretty hungry but I’m learning to be friends with the hunger pangs.   I’ve learned to treat the hunger as a good sign.  I must be getting somewhere - right? 

 I feel like I’m waxing crazy.  Yes I’m very frustrated - not at this moment and not even today but generally.  And this being the case I have to say that I hope no one is looking at me as a CRON roll model.  I am most certainly not and nor do I want to be.  That’s April’s domain.  I openly admit that I have more than my fair share of food issues - mix that with the bipolar disorder and - well - I’m just not anyone to emulate…. (just in case someone is reading this and getting any ideas).  You know who you are - go read April’s Blog!

But what I’m saying about CRON at this point is that I’m trying as best I can to eat all the right things in the right amount and to weigh and measure…. I do this - really … and I’m very concerned with nutrition, not so much for longevity but because I don’t want to look and feel like crap.  In the past when I got very slim I looked sick and gaunt.  I’m not about that right now.  At the same time though I am definitely putting more emphasis on the weight loss side it.  Also, I have noticed that I feel much better physically and emotionally since I’ve been attempting CRON.  I might not have lost any weight - but I feel better and that counts for something.  I’ve also been enjoying learning about nutrition in general.  It all makes perfect sense. 

So I feel grounded. 

I have to split but here’s yesterday’s crunch:

Nutrition Summary for June 16, 2007

Well as expected I’m back at 144 this morning. I’m not surprised really, not because I ate too much or not ON but because that’s just what my body does. I tried to post yesterday’s crunch but for some reason when I do it here at home it doesn’t work. It loads it onto the page in one big snakey column.
When I cook I tend to keep it very simple and straight forward. Cooking isn’t my strong suit and more than that I don’t particularly enjoy it. Last night though I made a very tasty and very simple dinner: Mushrooms (6 whole white cap chopped), endive (about 5 leaves), 1 small onion and 1 cup of veggi broth with a sprinkling of dill. I sauteed it all together (or would it be braising?) and it was done. And I have to say that it was pretty good. Oh and I added Braggs Aminos and some LLBY on top with .5 tbs of flax oil. My end calorie number was 1024 with 96% vitamins and 77% minerals. Not bad at all. But I do feel better and like I’m accomplishing more when I drop to a max of 950 or so. I think I’ll do this and keep a sharp eye on protein and vitamins and minerals. I mean it’s not like I’m losing weight or anything.
So I’m into the long weekend and today is odds and ends chore day. Sometimes these kinds of days are therapeutic. Besides I think we might actually get some rain today. I always feel a little guilty not being outside when it’s sunny.

I tried to post yesterday’s crunch but I couldn’t get this to load for some reason.  The final numbers were good though - I think I landed somewhere in the 850 calorie range with 97% of vitamins and 86% minerals.  Today I weighed 141 so I think we’re finally getting somewhere with this.  My cold is definitely on its way out.  Breathing is much easier today and I don’t cough as much.   Oh and I have to mention that I have the next four days off

Tennessee is experiencing a pretty bad dry patch.  Apparently it’s the worst dry spell the state has seen in recorded history!  And I can see it in the front garden.  The new plants are looking a little distressed.  Tomorrow I plan to catch up on chores: mowing, getting the car washed (It’s been many months and the dogs of made the inside very dirty), cleaning the bathroom and all those kinds of pesky things.  Two of the dogs could use a bath. 

Then on Monday we’re taing my mom to dinner as it’s her birthday and Sunday we’re going on a good 8 mile hike in the mountains.  Seems fun.  Happy Weekend!

REAL QUICK:  Weight this morning was again 143.  And I am in a nasal fog today.  Not fun.  Pooh.

 Today will be a very low day since yesterday was not.  I’m afraid that I am at my set point.  Right?  I must be as I’ve been the same weight - give or take 2 or 3 pounds - for 6 months despite eating in the ball park of 1250 calories.  But so today I’m eating low both because I cannot smell or taste anything and because I’m not hungry.  Oh well one more reason - we’re taking Mom to Olive Garden Monday.  I’ll eat the Minestrone soup (143 calories) and maybe a bowl of salad.  I found out that the Olive Garden Salad is FULL of calories thanks to the dressing I’m sure.  So deceptive.  No wonder Americans can seem to drop weight. 

But for today I’m having a Cedar Lane bean burrito which is yummy, light, hot and organic (260 Cal) and then tonight I’ll have the giant salad (8g spinach, 6 mushrooms, .5 medium cucumber, brewers yeast, braggs aminos and splash of Flax) and 1 cup egg white.  This should round out to about 766 cal but we’ll see after tonight’s crunch.

 On other fronts - great news from California, which in my opinion is the most civilized state in the union, passed a LAW that all dogs and cats shall be spayed/neutered in an effort to reduce animal overpopulation.  There are parts of the law that allow for LICENSED breeders to breed.  Also, all service and show dogs will be allowed to stay in-tact.  I can see the potential problems with this, mainly that acquiring a license will be much too easy.  I’ve read a few articles that claim the law only mandates non-purebreds be altered but this couldn’t be the case and furthermore, when I read the law it didn’t seem to hint at anything like that.  The hunters will be furious. The puppymill breeders will be incensed.  I think it’s about time.  In my county alone - just Knox County in TN at ONE shelter, 11,000 dogs, cats, puppies and kittens were euthanized for no other reason than a lack of space and no home.  This doesn’t include the old, sick and aggressive animals who were destroyed for obvious reasons. 

 I’ll have to post some links about it but not right now.

Nutrition Summary for June 13, 2007

Today it’s thankfully slow.  This is a blessing since I can’t breathe.  So I thought I’d write a little more.  I have to say that initially I wanted this blog to be more of a mishmosh of things and not so fod/diet focused yet this is exactly what this has become.  This is OK though because I feel at this point that I need to focus more on exactly what I’m doing.  Reporting to this every day with food and weight stats make cheating a lot more difficult.  THis makes me a little more accountable.  Sometimes I think the other blog was too Diet Theory and less practice.   Did I happen to mention that I’m miserable and that I cannot breathe at all!?  I’ve taken all sorts of deconjestants and nothing makes a difference. 

THere is no hunger though and that’s good.  When I get home I can get chopping on the cucumber, mushroom and other veggies I have hoarded in the fridge for the GIANT SALAD.  ALso, I think I’m slowly beginning to enjoy most veggies raw and cold - like asparagus.  If I steam it one day I’m very happy to eat it cold the next.  Geez I can’t wait to go home and to nestle in with Scotty and the dogs.

I went home early yesterday because I was feeling so awful and today - back at work I only feel marginally better.  I weighed 143 this AM down 2 pounds but I don’t set too much store by this… I’ll probably gain it back by morning.  I’m planning for a low day today.  I had the yoghurt/apple/bran buds for breakfast and then the 160 calorie muffin here and for tonight the ENORMOUS salad with 1 cup of egg white.  This should round out to about 766 calories.  But I just did the calculations here on paper.  I’ll have to crunch the real numbers when I get home.  I feel pretty lousy right now though - can’t breathe - zoned out.

Nutrition Summary for June 12, 2007